I will survive....

Some days are bright and shiny and some are dull and dark. Time flies away. But when you are feeling low, it seems to halt. When things go wrong we try to make them right. They may go according to you, if they meant to be. But if they meant to be a big hurdle, they got worsen.

And that period of your life is your examination. At that point whether you deal with it or you just ran off. That time is too hard to spend. All your mistakes, all your faults, all your decisions stood in front of you like a big question mark. Sometimes it feels like they are laughing at you.

You want to run away, far, too far, unreached, forgotten and alone. A place where no one disturbs you, no one tries to understand unsuccessfully, no one suggest you things you already know, no one gives you free advice and philosophy on life. Just you and your thoughts. You talk to yourself and answer yourself. You want a fresh start after a calm break.

But does it really happen? I don’t think so. There is never a fresh start, you can’t just beat your past behind. And off course there is no such place to run away. Every day I wake up with thought to run away. And start convincing myself to fight, to stay strong, and to bear idiots. And I was really got convinced till noon. And the inevitable evening again gives me reason to run away. And in night lying alone in bed with a roll of tear I say, “This will be over. It’s just to deviate me on right path. ALLAh is showing me my way to success.”
I will survive this, I believe whether you listen or not. Whether you understand or not. Whether you see or not. I believe in me, I will survive, may be scratched, wounded, and scarred. I will cry secretly, I will retort in mind. I will fall and stand again. I will fight. I will bury my dreams deep and put a rose on it. And when that rose get dry, I will dig my dreams out and live them.

Because after all pain and scars may be I deserve what I want. I believe that there will be a day when I live my dreams. Till then I will survive.
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